Bumps

Dirt roads. 32’ motorhome. AWESOME! We’re headed to the Ingalls homestead site, and, I’m ready to do a little off roading!

As some of you country bumpkins know, dirt roads can gain a certain washboard effect given the building up of perpendicular ruts in the road. Imagine - giant vehicle with mildly poor suspension. It is VERY bumpy.

Hmmm….I’m having an early childhood recollection. The faster you drive, the wheels can’t get into the bumps and the drive smooths out! I announce such a fact to the family and immediately accelerate. If I waited for debate, I’m sure I’d be voted down. Not worth waiting.

It starts getting bumpier. I know it’ll be smoother sooner! Carole’s digging her nails into her chair. She looks scared. The kids teeth are chattering. I continue to accelerate. Wow! It does get a little bit smoother albeit a LITTLER LOUDER NOW!

In deference to the cries of my family, I slow down to 2 mph. 100 yards and 2 years later we arrive at the highway to turn right. “Don’t EVER do that again with my children in the vehicle!” “But it was smoother”. “But it’s a DIRT road, what if you ever had to stop?!”

Ok. Valid point. I just might accidentally squish the possum crossing the road.

Wait a minute....I bet I could even do a donut in this thing.

Evening Motor Home Conversations

(initials of the speaker following each line of dialogue to protect the innocent)
(FYI – RR is the youngest munchky in Meityland)

RR, you don’t need to come in the bathroom. (RJ)
Well I need to do it first! (RR)
RJ, you can floss outside the bathroom. (KC (who’s in the shower))
Hey Guys. Remember to do your tick check! (Mom (who’s on the phone))
RJ’s not letting me into the bathroom! (RR)
RR, change in the bedroom. You’re all girls last time I checked. (Dad (who’s typing on the computer))
I can’t go to the bathroom because you’re going to look at me! (RR)
RR, don’t yell. (Mom (still on the phone))
Get out! (RR)
Coming through! (CG (making her way through the bathroom area – front to back)

….later….

Knock knock knock (RR knocking on the shower door).
RR, don’t look (KC)
Wow KC, you’re tall (RR)

….later….

Is there anyone in the bathroom? (KC (wanting to get out of the shower))
Hey – turn off the air conditioner! (Mom – of course too cold)
Coming through! (CG (making her way back to front))
Who’s going to let me out? (RR (too small to open the sliding curtains))

So is the dialogue in 270 sq feet of living space. I think RR is very funny. I call her our “Little Hoot”. Just think, she’s only been standing next to her proportionally taller sister for five years now! Her Wonders never cease.

Of course, all four girls forgot to do their tick check.
Ooops – RJ did.

The Rears of Mount Rushmore

While hiking up Harney Peak and looking at the back of Mt. Rushmore, KC had an interesting little conversation with a passing hiker.

KC – Is that really the back of Mt. Rushmore?
Stranger – Yeah, don’t you see their rear ends?

Later, RJ shared this funny little exchange with Mom. As expected, and normally happens after spending lots and lots of time sisters, RJ was having a little trouble speaking kindly to CG….Mom’s response:

You’d better be nice, or, I’ll carve your rear end into the back of Mt. Rushmore!

Accidents Do Do Happen!

Even messy, smelly ones. You think such accidents could be avoided with a little foresight, but, ignorance precludes being preventative in some cases.

Carole has the worthy objective of being able to run the motor home all on her own. Driving, hooking up, draining the tanks and all. I’m all for it! Being able to pull out my chair and let her set up camp is quite an inviting idea! However, the fact that Carole needs to be able to run the show is more a necessity given my travel every two or three weeks while the family is on the road.

Well….our first outside training session had a minor issue. We stopped at a campground outside Carlsbad Caverns and Carole voiced the “need” to setup the electrical, water, sewer, etc. on her own. Of course, this was our first night for draining out the holding tanks and all the equipment hadn’t been fully road tested. Now, for those of you non-RVers, you do the stinky stuff first, and, then you drain the grey tank (soapy water) to flush out the hose and get rid of any left over chunkies. It’s not a nice job, but, someone’s got to do it.

We hooked up the sewer hose, checked all the connections, and, Carole opens up the valve. We didn’t think of draining the tank slowly. I mean, who wants to hang out draining out the sewer tank? So open up the valve and let it rip! No time to waste draining the stuff – that’s our motto. Things go OK for about 5 seconds, and then, the hose comes off the coupler thingy which secures the hose to the stinky tank. Oh boy! Toxic waste spill! My most sensible wife JUMPS back 5 feet making some unintelligible noises – I never knew she could move so fast! You’d think a bear was after her or something worse!

My job? Dive in and save the day! I jump in, close the valve, and gently ask her if she thought of shutting it off instead of letting it run? Silly question, I know. Clean up time. Can you guess who gets that job?

Time for another trip to Camping World…..