Little Hoot Lines #3

I've taken the liberty to stack up some more of my favorite expulsions from RR - can't help but share more of them with you. May you enjoy our "Little Hoot" as much as I have.

On examining a newly found pine cone at Niagara Falls, RR lifts it up and wiggles one of the little pieces. "Look", she exclaims. "It has a loose tooth!"

While Mom was purchasing ferry tickets to go see the Statue of Liberty, RR saw a picture of the statue on display. RR said, "Mommy, we don't even need to go outside to see the Statue of Liberty, it's RIGHT HERE!"

While visitng the observation deck in the Statue of Liberty, everyone could hear a very loud band playing across the water for an event. RR exclaimed, "Mom, they're gonna blast their earballs!"

Sometimes Rachel get a phrase just a little bit off. One time, RJ was doing some schoolwork, and, RR says…”RJ, If you want to do it now, you need to do it now”. RRM says…”I’m sorry RR, I need to do my school”. RR says, “OK, shoot yourself”.

RR was running around with a willow branch in her hands that had little loop at the end. She was frantically chasing ducks at the time. We asked her what she was doing, and, she said, “Look Mommy, I’m going to catch ducks!”

Say What?!

Pretty useless things to say in the Meity motor home….

“Please be quiet!” Right.

“Where are we staying tonight?”

“Will you please move out of my way?”
Ok, where to? It’s always in someone else’s way and then….
“Will you please move out of my way?”

“Has anyone seen my ____?”
Chorus: “No”.

“What time is it?” I forbid a gaudy clock hanging on the wall….

“I thought I said – be QUIET!”

When looking for something you KNOW you put in a certain spot. It vanishes.
“Ok, who moved the _____?”
(Kid 1) “I didn’t”.
(Kid 2) “It wasn’t me”.
(Kid 3) “I never saw it”.
(Kid 4) “Never seen it”.
(Mom) “Don’t ask me”.
Mr. Invisible strikes again!

“What’s the date?”

“Where are we going tomorrow?”
Usually only Mom knows, and, she’s usually on the phone when asked.
The question is eventually answered, and, inevitably another little person who was “listening so carefully” will say…..
“Where are we going tomorrow?”

“Ok…Who tooted?” Like anyone’s going to admit that in 270 sq feet of space!

Wal*Mart – Our Favorite!

We are camped tonight (again) at our favorite location!

Kudos to Wal*Mat – they’re pretty smart. Every stop usually withdraws anywhere between $50 and $200 from my bank account. It’s amazing what they have in there that fits in the motor home!

It’s mostly food (of course).

Well….I thought I’d share our Wal*Mart list with you. A bit of insight into what we buy every once in a while…

The Meity Walmart List (or varients thereof)

Marshmallows
Chocolate
Graham crackers
Cookies (if not vetoed by wife)
Veggies and fruit (to offset above items)
Flip flops (yeah, like we’ll find these in Maine in September! KC – think again baby…)
Frozen fruit (if blueberries weren’t available for picking at the campsite)
Paper plates, cups, bowls
Plastic silverware
Knitting needles
Yarn
Smelly tank treatment stuff
Quarters (yup, always “buying” these for laundry!)
Pens (somehow they still get lost)
Videos – 2 for $10 (no kidding)
Crackers, snacks, and anything else that fits in little baggies
Baggies for all the snacks
Batteries
Shorts, t-shirts, shoes, flip flops, or anything else needed to replace the latest stained, ripped, or otherwise ruined item as a result of the last hike or load of laundry

…..you get the idea.

May you enjoy your next Wal*Mart run.

Sing Daddy, SING!!

As you can imagine, such a small space requires a bit more patience and understanding – especially with six people! Sometimes, we have even had to give up a few freedoms.

One such freedom was “singing”. RJ is our songbird and could sing her way through life – that is if her sisters and parents didn’t get a little tired of it. But now she was bursting into song about doing the dishes while we were all three feet away and couldn’t go anywhere! Then, RR who is two feet away starts joining in, not singing all that in tune, and, I now can’t CONCENTRATE on answering emails ….QUIIIIEET!!

Peace would resume for five minutes. Then she’d start again. A sister would get irritated. I’d demand, “Didn’t I just tell you five minutes ago not to sing?”

We needed a solution and FAST.

Fines! Yup, that was the solution. A quarter fine for kid I caught singing. And…a quarter for any kid catching a parent singing!

Well, RR our little six year old is always looking for a way to pick up a little extra spare change. She can’t wash cars, babysit, wash windows, or much of anything to earn money so she’s always on the lookout for an opportunity. This was her chance.

RR was standing next to me. Looking up with a big smile on her face she says, “Sing Daddy, SING!!”

I couldn’t resist. And she got a quarter.

Sara Who? Sara What?

Often times at dinner we discuss the next day’s itinerary. Here’s what happened one evening showing the historical prowess of my children….

(kids chorus) Where are we going tomorrow?
(Mom) We are going to visit Saratoga National Historical Park.
(Mom) What was the revolutionary war fought about?

(Various answers provided by the kids….who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent. Some were actually right!)

(kid1) Wasn’t it the war about freeing the slaves?
(kid2) No, it was about that lady who took her husband’s place in the war or something like that!
(Dad) I don’t think we’re talking about Sara Toga! It’s Saratoga – a place!
(kid2) Ohhhhh!
(Dad) I think that was Sara Pitcher.
(kids) Yeah! Yeah!
(Dad) Oops, it was Molly Pitcher.
(Mom) How do you remember so much about history?
(Dad) I read the kid’s history assignment a few months ago.

And our conversation continued – clearing the air about the difference between “revolutionary” and “civil” wars. I think.

Ok, I’m no historical buff, but at least I have an understanding of the difference, even if I didn’t like history in school! I think I learn more now than I ever did then. Crack out the whip – watch out girls, more writing assignments here we come!

Electrical Storm (or lack thereof) Changes Time!

There is no other way to top off such a wonderful visit at Niagara Falls other than an overnight stop at Wal-Mart. Nothing like free lodging! Except….when all of a sudden the 12v electricity in the motor home shuts off. Everything. Dead.

I moan.

I almost had the kids in bed and about to enjoy an hour of actually getting something done – like looking for a job! Nothing important mind you. But now…how the heck am I going to figure this out? Me an electrician, and 12v at that? No way, but, no choice either. I tuck the children in bed, tell them to flush with no water, and then I start checking all the fuses. 1x. 2x. Front. Back. Inside. Outside. Fridge fuse. Fan fuse. Breakers. Nothing’s wrong! Ok…time to break out the manuals.

C’s heading to bed and I pop in to give her the frustration update. As I report my electrical prowess and all that I had checked multiple times I mention to her…”I just don’t get it. The power just went out all at once”. She asks, “Did you check the switch by the door?”

It’s just not fair. The switch by the door. Yes, there’s a little switch that turns off the power to the entire motor home to save the batteries. Well…somehow little RR’s feet tripped it while playing joyfully in her own little world which resulted in me being in mine!

I flip the switch. ON comes the electricity. An hour later and it’s time for bed – with no work done.

I’m not frustrated or mad, just slowly realizing that God is in control. 12v, job search, and, all. He took “my time” so that I would need to rely on “His time”. I guess you could say it was time for me to change my clock.

Little Hoot Lines - #2

RJ was giving RR (Little Hoot) a butterfly kiss. Remember those? It's the eyelashes winking on the cheek or eyelashes of the kissee. RR felt her own eyelashes and said, "I have really long ones of these. If I have glasses, they need to have holes so these thingies can poke through". She was really serious!

We visited a wave pool at a public park in Pittsburgh PA. Upon hearing that we needed pay to enter, RR piped up, "Do we need to put money in to make the waves go?" I quickly asked her, "RR, didn't you bring your quarters??" "No", said RR disappointingly. We quickly corrected her perception in order to lift her gloomy spirits.

"Little Hoot" Lines....

As you may recall...RR has been coined my "little hoot". She's so full of unintential wit that she always cracking me up. It's in the funniest of moments - somehow she gets a question or thought in her little brain and it just bubbles out. No context. No explanation. Just a little mental"fart" I guess you could call it.

Remember, she's only six....and here are a few of my favorites:

Dad, do you think boys are smarter, or, girls? I just can't decide."

"RJ, come and jump on the trampoline with me, you promised!" "But, we're here celebrating a birthday with our family." "But, it's not our whole family!" I guess the whole family must mean relatives from multiple states...

While making gifts for Grandpa who's birthday is tomorrow, RR picked up the picture of a little craft she was making and started heading upstairs...."Where are you going RR?" "I was going to ask Grandpa if he was going to get one of these as a gift, which one would he pick". We all started laughing! Hmm....not like he's going to know what he's now going to get! She's awfully short, but, I think her nose was rubbing the ceiling as she indignantly walked away with her hands on her hips.

What a hoot!

....more to come....

"Where's My Shoe??"

Shoes. We only have about 2 pairs each. There just isn’t room. You’d think this would mean they are always accessible, always available, always within sight, always within reach.

Think again.

“Where’s my shoe? Has anyone seen my shoe!!??”
(Chorus) “No”.
“Look where the shoes are.”
“I did. It’s not there. That’s why I’m asking!”
“I didn’t wear them last – you did! Where did you put them?”
“I don’t know”.
“Did you put them away in the box by the door?”
“Yes”.
“If you put them there, it should be there”.

(Dear reader, it should be noted that shoes aren’t allowed past the entry stairs and often are stored on the stairs…so, they can’t go very far....)

“I looked.”
“Look again.”
(Sister) “There it is!”
“No. That’s the one I already found. I’m looking for the other one!”
“Oh.”
(Mom) “OH NO! Did it fall out at Walmart?”
“I don’t know”.
(Mom) “If it did, I’m charging you. $25 buckaroos!”
(Mom) “Hurry up and find it. We have to go!”
“I’ll pay anyone a quarter who can find my shoe!”
“Here it is. It’s in the shoe box.”

It’s amazing how a little money can still go a long ways these days.

By the way, a note to parents – when having your children to look for their shoes, provide the following instructions: “Open BOTH eyes WIDE and look, and, you actually might find it if you move a few things in the pile”.

Gas Mileage

Today…we’re dipping our toes in Iowa, then back to Minnesota. Anyways, we interrupted my nap (imagine my crankiness) to fill up with gas. Carole chidingly says, “If you weren’t so full of yourself, you’d see our need for gas….” I only wanted to reduce my beauty wrinkles – what’s wrong with that?

We fill up. One “tradition” we have is figuring out gas mileage after every guzzle. I break out the Carole’s Camper’s Log and calculate the damage. Wow! “We got 14 mpg!” I announce. Carole dubiously asks, “How’s that possible?” “We had a heck of a tail wind on the way here”.

Laughter and ridicule would best describe the response. I’m insulted! Of course our 20,000 lb behemoth could get 14 mpg with a tail wind, and sail, and coasting in neutral 50% of the time. Why not? I scour the Camper’s Journal for the missing entry. Oops.

8.6 mpg. Well…that’s better than the past 7 mpg. I still think the tailwind helped. Or maybe it was all my driving in neutral.

We still didn’t do the tick check. I guess they probably all checked out by now.

Bumps

Dirt roads. 32’ motorhome. AWESOME! We’re headed to the Ingalls homestead site, and, I’m ready to do a little off roading!

As some of you country bumpkins know, dirt roads can gain a certain washboard effect given the building up of perpendicular ruts in the road. Imagine - giant vehicle with mildly poor suspension. It is VERY bumpy.

Hmmm….I’m having an early childhood recollection. The faster you drive, the wheels can’t get into the bumps and the drive smooths out! I announce such a fact to the family and immediately accelerate. If I waited for debate, I’m sure I’d be voted down. Not worth waiting.

It starts getting bumpier. I know it’ll be smoother sooner! Carole’s digging her nails into her chair. She looks scared. The kids teeth are chattering. I continue to accelerate. Wow! It does get a little bit smoother albeit a LITTLER LOUDER NOW!

In deference to the cries of my family, I slow down to 2 mph. 100 yards and 2 years later we arrive at the highway to turn right. “Don’t EVER do that again with my children in the vehicle!” “But it was smoother”. “But it’s a DIRT road, what if you ever had to stop?!”

Ok. Valid point. I just might accidentally squish the possum crossing the road.

Wait a minute....I bet I could even do a donut in this thing.

Evening Motor Home Conversations

(initials of the speaker following each line of dialogue to protect the innocent)
(FYI – RR is the youngest munchky in Meityland)

RR, you don’t need to come in the bathroom. (RJ)
Well I need to do it first! (RR)
RJ, you can floss outside the bathroom. (KC (who’s in the shower))
Hey Guys. Remember to do your tick check! (Mom (who’s on the phone))
RJ’s not letting me into the bathroom! (RR)
RR, change in the bedroom. You’re all girls last time I checked. (Dad (who’s typing on the computer))
I can’t go to the bathroom because you’re going to look at me! (RR)
RR, don’t yell. (Mom (still on the phone))
Get out! (RR)
Coming through! (CG (making her way through the bathroom area – front to back)

….later….

Knock knock knock (RR knocking on the shower door).
RR, don’t look (KC)
Wow KC, you’re tall (RR)

….later….

Is there anyone in the bathroom? (KC (wanting to get out of the shower))
Hey – turn off the air conditioner! (Mom – of course too cold)
Coming through! (CG (making her way back to front))
Who’s going to let me out? (RR (too small to open the sliding curtains))

So is the dialogue in 270 sq feet of living space. I think RR is very funny. I call her our “Little Hoot”. Just think, she’s only been standing next to her proportionally taller sister for five years now! Her Wonders never cease.

Of course, all four girls forgot to do their tick check.
Ooops – RJ did.

The Rears of Mount Rushmore

While hiking up Harney Peak and looking at the back of Mt. Rushmore, KC had an interesting little conversation with a passing hiker.

KC – Is that really the back of Mt. Rushmore?
Stranger – Yeah, don’t you see their rear ends?

Later, RJ shared this funny little exchange with Mom. As expected, and normally happens after spending lots and lots of time sisters, RJ was having a little trouble speaking kindly to CG….Mom’s response:

You’d better be nice, or, I’ll carve your rear end into the back of Mt. Rushmore!

Accidents Do Do Happen!

Even messy, smelly ones. You think such accidents could be avoided with a little foresight, but, ignorance precludes being preventative in some cases.

Carole has the worthy objective of being able to run the motor home all on her own. Driving, hooking up, draining the tanks and all. I’m all for it! Being able to pull out my chair and let her set up camp is quite an inviting idea! However, the fact that Carole needs to be able to run the show is more a necessity given my travel every two or three weeks while the family is on the road.

Well….our first outside training session had a minor issue. We stopped at a campground outside Carlsbad Caverns and Carole voiced the “need” to setup the electrical, water, sewer, etc. on her own. Of course, this was our first night for draining out the holding tanks and all the equipment hadn’t been fully road tested. Now, for those of you non-RVers, you do the stinky stuff first, and, then you drain the grey tank (soapy water) to flush out the hose and get rid of any left over chunkies. It’s not a nice job, but, someone’s got to do it.

We hooked up the sewer hose, checked all the connections, and, Carole opens up the valve. We didn’t think of draining the tank slowly. I mean, who wants to hang out draining out the sewer tank? So open up the valve and let it rip! No time to waste draining the stuff – that’s our motto. Things go OK for about 5 seconds, and then, the hose comes off the coupler thingy which secures the hose to the stinky tank. Oh boy! Toxic waste spill! My most sensible wife JUMPS back 5 feet making some unintelligible noises – I never knew she could move so fast! You’d think a bear was after her or something worse!

My job? Dive in and save the day! I jump in, close the valve, and gently ask her if she thought of shutting it off instead of letting it run? Silly question, I know. Clean up time. Can you guess who gets that job?

Time for another trip to Camping World…..